When I was a teenager I remember strongly disliking when adults made fun of my culture.  Their disapproval drew me closer to what they were telling me to stay away from.  It wasn’t nearly as provocative and scandalous 15 years ago as it is today, but welcome to evolution.  Our culture has, and will continue, to evolve.  It doesn’t mean we have to embrace it, but it also doesn’t mean we have to write it off.

Jennifer Pozner, author of forthcoming book, “Reality Bites Back,” suggests that instead of calling shows like the aforementioned “mindless TV,” that we change our verbiage to “mindful TV.”  Meaning we understand what we are consuming.  We don’t have to agree with it, but I believe we have a responsibility to teach young consumers what they are viewing, which is far from “reality.”  Pozner has a fabulous resource section on her website titled “Fun with Media Literacy” that I highly recommend for parents and educators (however, please don’t engage in the Reality TV Drinking Games with your students, just saying.)  Pozner advocates for us to learn how to watch TV.  I wholeheartedly agree.

In addition, The Center for Media Literacy (CML) suggests using “Five Key Questions” to deconstruct media.  They are:

1. Who created this message?

2. What creative techniques are used to attract my attention?

3. How might different people understand this message differently?

4. What values, lifestyles and points of view are represented in, or omitted from, this message?

5. Why is this message being sent?

I taught a few media literacy lessons last week to students using Pozner’s “Deconstruction Guide” and CML’s “The Five Key Questions” and was pleasantly surprised at the attentiveness of the 9^th and 10^th grade students.  I made a quick PowerPoint featuring a variety of media advertisements and images that I found through an easy Google search.  I gave the students a handout of the guide and questions to follow along with.  They completely got it and literally ripped the ads apart.  Truth be told, there were a few things that I had pointed out to me, which made me feel like they truly understood.

The media isn’t going anywhere.  Their job is to make a profit and they prey on our insecurities to do so.  The sad fact is they are winning.  I hate to be pessimistic, but I foresee it getting worse before it gets better.   However, the one thing we have complete control over is if we actually buy into it.  Educate yourself and others, don’t believe the hype, and don’t be a victim.

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This version – brought to life by the fantastically quirky director Tim Burton – is actually more a sequel to the original. Alice is now a 19-year-old in Victorian London, being pushed into marriage by her mother, and believes that Wonderland is merely an imaginary place from her recurring dreams. The spirited Alice who first took a trip down the rabbit hole years before is still a curious dreamer, but the film’s creators set out to invigorate this Alice with strong self-agency.

Wonderland screenwriter Linda Woolverton told the New York Times, “I do feel it’s really important to depict strong-willed, empowered women, because women and girls need role models, which is what art and characters are. Girls who are empowered have an opportunity to make their own choices, difficult choices, and set out on their own road.”

Caution: Spoiler Alert!

Alice is so inspiring not because she merely kills the evil Jabberwocky, fulfilling what was “destined” of her. Instead, Alice chooses her own path because she wants to do what’s right and help her friends.  Yes, she doubts her ability along the way, thinking it would be “impossible” to fight such a beast (she’d be crazy not to). But in the end is encouraged by the words her father once spoke:

“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

Alice finds her strength, saves the day, and then returns to real life to turn down her marriage proposal in favor a job with her father’s trading company. And that’s not the only reason why Wonderland makes a great subject for media literacy; it’s also rich with allusions to the Girl World Box and social hierarchy roles—Hello Red Queen (Bee)!

So, take your students to see Alice in Wonderland and start a discussion with these questions:

• What scenes and quotes from the film illustrate Alice’s self-agency? (Examples include her declaration to Absolem she’s not a “stupid girl”; the discussions of her being the “right Alice”; when she dismisses the Mad Hatter’s proclamation that she’s lost her “muchness”; as well as those described above)
• Why is self-agency important for all of us?
• How is Alice a “Champion”?
• How is the Red Queen like a “Queen Bee”? (Push kids to explain further than just “she’s mean”— some examples include the way in which she controls those around her; how she feels people and things are disposable unless they are of use to her; and her constant fear of being overthrown and needing to maintain her power.)
• Why do the Queen’s followers pretend to all have odd physical characteristics?
• What did you think of the White Queen? What role in Girl World does she play? (This character was rather flat, and hypocritically says she cannot kill the Jabberwocky because it’s “against her vows,” so it would be interesting to see whether kids will pick up on this.)

The Jersey Shore brings together four male and four female 20-something Italian-Americans to spend the summer at a party house on the Shore. It’s a little like The Real World, only without The Real World’s redeeming diversity of ethnicity, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic background…or the slightest trace of intelligence.

I protested watching the show until an orange-ish bronze Hulk-child named Mike lifted his shirt and stated proudly, “My abs are so ripped, I call them ‘The Situation.’ Hate all you want, but what can you say to a guy who looks like Rambo with his shirt off?” Snickering and slightly sedated by “The Situation’s” blatently cocky statements, Pauly D’s wonderous blow-out hairstyle, and the intoxicating scent of fake-and-bake that seemed to eminate from the television, I spent the remainder of the show mindlessly enjoying the antics and apparent vapidness of these self-proclaimed “guidos” and “guidettes.”

But, when the show ended and the preview for the next episode ran, I was horrified to see a muscular non-castmember (male), encited by the insults of the smallest female castmember (nicknamed “Snooki”), punch her straight in the jaw. Cut to him in handcuffs, being led to a police car. Cut to her on the floor, covering her bleeding face. Cut to me no longer smiling, covering my open mouth. When I expressed my shock at the first time I’d seen a man punch a woman, I was further shocked by my friends’ response.

“Calm down, Shannan, it’s just TV.”

“Stop reading into it so much! It’s just ___!” Insert the morally ambiguous media outlet of your choice. We’ve all heard this protest from our children, students, even friends. Young people are notoriously willing to accept media as pure entertainment — to the point that even reality shows are dismissed as fictional fodder. But the Snooki incident is a dramatic reminder that even television shows have real-life consequences.

As it turns out, The Jersey Shore has earned the real-world criticism of the Italian-American Association UNICO, who condemns the show for its sterotypical depiction of Italian-Americans and its free and abundant use of the word “guido” — a derogatory term for working-class Italians. After reading about this controversy, I was surprised that, as an Italian-American, I hadn’t even considered the effect this show might have on me, personally. Regardless, The Jersey Shore‘s depiction of a stereotype-enforcing “subculture” of a particular ethnicity has sparked a debate over the real-world effects of television.

The Jersey Shore may be mindless, but your conversation surrounding it doesn’t have to be. The controversies with Snooki and UNICO serve as great conversation starters with your kids or students to get them thinking about our willingness to accept media as fictional or inconsequential.

Here are some great questions to get them thinking:

• Why do you think that MTV used the Snooki incident as advertising? What were your and your friends’ reactions to it? Did you want to see the episode because of it?
• The video was spread all over the internet. Why do you think it spread so quickly?
• How do you think that MTV should’ve handled the incident? What should they have done with the footage?
• What should the consequences be for the man who punched Snooki? Should they be any more severe than a man who punched a woman off air?
• What does “guido” mean? Is it an offensive word to Italian-Americans? Should it be?
• Does the show affect how you feel about Italian-Americans? What about people from New Jersey, or people who resemble those on the show?

The commercial is captures Ellen doing a photo shoot for print ads. As usual, she is having fun and not taking herself too seriously since she is not known for being a model but rather a comedienne. My students, 9 -12 grade girls, are familiar with Ellen DeGeneres. However, they were concerned with her opening line of the commercial: “Inner beauty is important but not nearly as important as outer beauty.”

Our course, Owning Up, has challenged the students to question what they hear and see. As a result of watching the commercial and the structure of the course, the students engaged one another in lively discourse. Some of the students were appalled that Ellen DeGeneres, whom they’d viewed as a great advocate for women, acceptance and tolerance, would even joke about outer beauty being more important than inner beauty. Other students countered by saying they were taking that line out of the context of the entire commercial. They felt it was clear she was having fun and making fun of herself.

The debate about the wording of the ad didn’t stop in our classroom. On YouTube the commercial has received nearly a hundred comments and people can’t seem to agree if the intentions are delivering the desired effect.

treenypop: i agree that she is awesome but still i hope she doesnt believe outer beauty is more important. even if she was told to say it, it isnt true and i really don t think she should be spreading that message

facade444: She is a COMEDIAN. I can’t believe people are taking the “But not as important as outer beauty” so seriously. If you look at the rest of the video she’s goofing around. Comedians joke around, get over yourselves.

thornyyrose: she is doing exactly what the multi million dollar company paid her to do. to say those words an act all silly…the fact the company advertisers came up with them is freaking stupid and appaling. they should not be said. is this what we are trying to teach the girls/women of today? outer beauty is not what makes the person. this commercial is downright wrong and should be taken off the air. there is NO excuse for it.

Gamezero05: It is a JOKE. How do some people think she is being literal when she says outter beauty is more important? Did you guys come into this world with a faulty sarcasm radar? Let me explain the comedic element. She says something that we pretty much ALL agree with: Inner beauty is important. Then, she uses the element of surprise to flip it and say not as important as outer beauty. It catches you off guard, you laugh, she laughs, it’s funny. It’s not meant to be serious. Geez!

As educators and parents this commercial is a great place to begin a dialogue with our students or children about the media and moreover the responsibility of celebrities. I asked my students the following questions as a starting place to begin discussing:

• How does this commercial make you feel? Ask kids to explain their response.
• Do you think Ellen is saying “outer beauty is most important”as a joke or is she serious?
• Does Ellen have an obligation to rise to a higher standard than the rest of us because she is a celebrity?
• What can happen when we take lines or conversations out of context?

Whether or not you or your teens take issue with this commercial is not the main goal. The main point is rather to use this very benign commercial to open up communication about media culture and the role it plays in defining what we should think, act, and look like.

Clareece “Precious” Jones, a 16-year-old illiterate, obese young woman, is kicked out of high school for being pregnant for the second time with her father’s child. Her mother is an abusive crack addict who fills her days with watching television in her Harlem apartment and telling Precious that she’s too dumb and fat to succeed, so she better go to the Welfare Office instead of the alternative school suggested by her public school principal.

In one of Precious’ voiceovers, she quotes Ms. Rain, the teacher of her alternative ed literacy course: “‘even the longest journey begins with a single step’ — whatever that means.” This film is a painstaking look at the obstacles an (extremely) “out of the box” young woman faces in order to take her first step towards developing her voice and, consequently, her sense of dignity. Though Precious’s obstacles seem a compilation of worst-case-scenarios of poverty — obesity, rape, illiteracy, abuse, and humiliation in school — her isolation, love/hate relationship with the images of grandeur and femininity on television, and desire to be inside the box ring true to many, regardless of socioeconomic status.

Precious’s relationship with television is as turbulent as it is familiar. “I want to be on the cover of a magazine,” Precious says, narrating her aspirational relationship with media, “I wish I had a light skinned boyfriend with real nice hair. But first, I wanna be in one of them BET music videos.” During her most traumatic moments, Precious dreams in television, imagining herself as a beloved movie star, a glam music video dancer, and even an Italian actress. However, these images of perfection have dire consequences for her self esteem; in one particularly heartbreaking depiction of self-rejection, Precious sees white, thin, glamourous blonde woman in her own reflection. As in the lives of many girls her age, the television is both her escape and her tormenter.

By forming solid (though sometimes antagonistic) relationships with the other “out of the box” women in her alternative ed class, learning to read and write, and even having her second child, Precious learns to speak her truth. The movie doesn’t end with Precious earning her college diploma or making more money than Oprah. Instead, while she still has miles to go, Precious has made the first step — learning to stand up for herself with words. Where the film began with a silent high schooler resorting to physical violence to express her anger, it ends with her stating her rights, capabilities, and independence.

Precious is a strong character who fights to take her first step out of hell. For young people or those who struggle, she is an incredible role model. However, this movie is (appropriately) rated R, and is thus directed at adults — adults who could change the lives of children like Precious. I was therefore so disappointed to discover that the adult role models in the film are unfamiliar, seemingly unattainable, and underdeveloped.

Precious is so inspiring largely due to her complexity and faults that make her relatable. However, the adults that surround her are strictly saints or demons, and their appearances and characteristics exemplify the “in the box/out of the box” framework. Her evil parents are overweight, uneducated, and makeup-less. The “savior” characters — a male nurse played by Lenny Kravitz, a social worker played by Mariah Carey, and the alternative ed teacher played by Paula Patton — fit inside their gender boxes almost perfectly. Thin, light skinned, educated, and unrelentingly supportive, the savior characters never hesitate to cross the boundaries of their respective professions for Precious’ betterment. In one scene, Precious’ classmates look on as Kravitz kisses Precious’s forehead while she sits on her hospital bed. Movieworld: touching moment; realworld: touching lawsuit.

Though the film may miss its mark with the adults, I still highly recommend preparing for the semi-permanence of your oh-my-god face and seeing the movie with a group of open-minded adult friends. When the shock begins to wear, enjoy your Crossfire-esque debate over the many implications of this film. Though this might not be an ideal teaching tool for kids in a school setting because of the movie’s ‘R’ rating, but it offers wonderful fodder for adult conversation.

If you choose to see the movie, use these questions as a starting point:

• Is television a positive or negative influence in Precious’ life? How does it function in her relationship with her mother?
• How is food depicted in the film? Why does everybody keep talking about McDonald’s?
• What role does humor have in the film — both for the characters and the audience?
• How are the relationships between the alternative education class helpful and harmful? How are they different from those shown at Precious’ public school? How does Ms. Rain diffuse confrontation?
• What role does Ms. Rain play in Precious’ development? How does she help Precious succeed? Is this a realistic depiction of a great teacher, and what can you learn from her methods?
• Why is this film opening in select cities? Who is the target audience? Bonus: Who was in the theater with you?
• How does the film support and debunk gender and racial expectations?

For all the crazy fan obsession over the film and its hot young stars, you may be surprised to learn that for nearly the entire length of New Moon Edward and Bella aren’t together. In one of the first few scenes Edward breaks up with  Bella out of fear that her continued presence around him and his vampire family is too dangerous. Hoping that an out-of-sight out-of-mind approach will temper her pain and allow her to move on he tells her, “This is the last time you’ll ever see me.”

It doesn’t work.

Bella plunges into a deep, months-long depression. In the book, author Stephanie Meyer personifies Bella’s coma-like state with blank page after blank page. When Bella finally resurfaces, she’s anything but whole. Bella frequently refers to the absence of Edward as a huge, gaping hole in her chest, and begins to take on the habit of sitting with her knees curled up, arms wrapped around her chest—a futile attempt to hold the pain in.

Then, out of nowhere, Edward’s back … but not really. Bella realizes that any time she does something reckless, an apparition of Edward flashes in her mind, begging her not to do the crazy thing she’s planning.

“If a rush of danger is what it takes to see him then that’s what I’ll find.” —Bella

She enlists the help of her best friend Jacob to teach her to ride a motorcycle, spurring on more Edward illusions. Incidentally, Bella’s friendship with Jacob is integral to her beginning to heal her emotional wound. He’s the only one she feels truly comfortable with, and doesn’t feel the need mask her sadness from.

But when the motorcycle rides begin to lose their adrenaline-inducing effect, Bella decides needs a bigger brush with death – in the climax of the film Bella jumps from a cliff into the ocean, a feat she’s seen Jacobs friends attempt in the past. She jumps, but can’t compete with the current and nearly drowns. (No spoiler here, as there are two more movies in the series.)

The reason why I appreciate New Moon (the book, and to a lesser degree the film) is that I, and millions of others around the globe, can walk this painful journey hand-in-hand with Bella. You know that weirdly invigorating feeling you get when listening to a sad love song on full blast in your car –maybe even one that reminds you of a past love who broke your heart? That’s what I get from New Moon.

You very well may think it’s cheesy or trite (if I hear the phrase “teen angst” in relation to the Twilight saga one more time I may scream!), but Bella’s depression in New Moon is not to be taken lightly. And her solution of self-inflicted pain is comparable to taking drugs, cutting, and other risky behavior that many people go to in these types of situations. This is very heavy information for kids to process without a meaningful discussion, which, sadly, I doubt is happening in most cases. So don’t miss this excellent opportunity to talk to teens about what to do with your feelings when it feels like you’re heart will never work again, because we’ve been through it and we know it will.

Outside Resources:

Check out guest blogger and author Rachel Simmons’ take on New Moon madness, including a guide for educators

Suicide Prevention Resource Center

Kids Health

Listen to Rosalind’s Recent BBC Interview About the Twilight Phenomenon:

New Moon BBC Interview, Long Version, November 11, 2009

This, of course, played right into the hands of Gossip Girl producers. As Amy Jussel of Shaping Youth notes, “CW knows the teen motivators well, ‘the more you ban it/admonish it/censor it’ the more appeal it has to kids.” And they “clearly [have] a gluttonous appetite for purposeful controversy (and has from day one, just check their ongoing ad campaigns).”

Visit Shaping Youth to read more of Jussel’s fantastic analysis of the marketing motivations behind the Gossip Girl episode and the industry’s responsibility for its programming.

Cleverly, GG didn’t actually have to make the threesome particularly racy to get the ratings it wanted. When the deed finally aired in the waning minutes of the show it featured a series of kissing between Dan, his girlfriend Olivia, and his best friend Vanessa, but never at the same time; the next shot showed them all asleep in bed together—an implied menage-a-trois.

Yes, we have a right to be shocked by this and not want our kids to see it, but in the age of DVR, online streaming and digital downloads, they probably will: you can watch the past three episodes of GG on the CW site or buy them from iTunes for $1.99.

So, as uncomfortable as it may be, we have to use it as a teachable moment. In an interview on NPR’s All Things Considered, Liz Perle, Co-Founder of Common Sense Media, said she used the episode to talk to her teenage son “about how the industry works, which is look at how hard they have to scream at you to get you to tune in.” On Common Sense’s website kids and parents share more ideas about using GG as a conversation starter.

And while the PTC was disappointed to see the threesome plot line carried in the subsequent Nov. 16 episode, I was thrilled that they actually chose to explore the emotional fallout of an intimate experience among three friends. Oh, did I forget to mention Olivia and Vanessa are roommates at NYU?

So, hold your breath, watch the clip, and dive into the deep end with these conversation jumping off points:

Nov. 9 Episode – “They Shoot Humphreys Don’t They?

• Dan, Olivia and Vanessa admit to never having participated in a threesome before, so what might be motivating them now? What are they trying to prove and to whom are they proving it?
• What role did alcohol play in the situation? Why do you think the writers had Olivia down her shot of tequila right before she kisses Dan?
• If one (or more) of them felt uncomfortable with the situation what would make it difficult to speak up?
• Olivia is played by former Disney star Hilary Duff; what pressure does Duff (now 22) face to appeal to an older audience to remain popular?
• Why do you think the producers thoughts showing a three-way sex scene would be good for ratings?

Nov. 16 Episode – “The Last Days of Disco Stick”

• At the beginning of this episode Dan tells his guy friend Nate about his night with Olivia and Vanessa, bragging, “How awesome am I?” What does Dan (and guys in general) hope to gain by telling people about his exploits?
• Despite the girls’ apparent consent to the threesome, each becomes jealous of the other’s relationship with Dan afterward – Olivia suspecting romantic feelings between the best friends, and Vanessa getting upset for being pushed out as the third wheel. How do the girls express their anger? Is it effective to resolve the situation? Why do girls tend to focus their anger on the other girl than the guy in this type of situation?
• On the show Dan and Vanessa are best friends, and by the end of this episode Dan realizes he may have feelings for her. What do you think would happen if he tells her how he feels? What if he doesn’t tell her? How will his affect their friendship?
• Do you think the way the characters reacted in this episode is realistic?
• Bonus Question: Lady GaGa guest stared on this episode and performed her new single “Bad Romance.” What does she gain by associating herself with this show? What does the show gain? What do they each lose?

Author and guest blogger Rachel Simmons is one of our favorite go-to voices to help our community understand the messaging that popular music, television shows, and music constantly throw at us. This is a recent post she did on Miley Cyrus’ song “The Climb” for the Hannah Montana Movie.

Rachel has provided some fantastic ways to get a discussion started with students or teens in your own home. We’ve added a few more of our own below Rachel’s questions, which you’ll find in bold italics.

Miley Cyrus, “The Climb”

Cruising along the Brooklyn-Queens expressway this weekend, fingers poised to change the station from a poppy tune, I paused. I knew that raspy cute voice. Miley. I waited. I always like to hear what she’s up to.

I’m so into the song, I’m blogging about it. It’s called “The Climb.” It was released back in February, so I guess you can file this post under “Delayed Reactions” or “I’m Too Old Now to Be Hip.” Anyway, it’s got a very important message for all of us, especially girls, to hear.

The song is about the self-defeating voice we all hear at times inside our heads, and the importance of believing in yourself when you face a challenge.  It’s about the reality that we sometimes fail, and that life is as much about the journey as it is crossing the finish line.

This is a crucial message for all of us, and especially girls, to hear. In my new book The Curse of the Good Girl, I document the struggle of girls to be flawless at everything they do. Not only is this a useless enterprise, but putting that kind of pressure on yourself invariably forces you to be nasty to yourself.

The Curse of the Good Girl also makes girls risk averse: they won’t want to take a leap if they know there’s a chance they might fail. Julia Loonin, Assistant Director of the Girls Leadership Institute, revealed how Good Girl pressure to be perfect derailed her during a high pressure college basketball game. There’s a reason we say, “No guts, no glory.” The Curse of the Good Girl wants girls to play it safe.

At GLI, we call the nasty voice inside our heads the “Gremlin Voice.” And we teach an antidote to the Gremlin – a Gremlin slayer, if you will – which we call the “BFF Voice.” That’s when you talk to yourself in the voice of your best friend; in other words, if your best friend lived inside your head and heard you saying terrible things, what would s/he say? The BFF voice pushes us through challenges with positive support. Read more about the BFF voice, and how to use it, in chapter 10 of The Curse of the Good Girl.

Here’s Miley’s Gremlin voice: I can almost see it/That dream I’m dreaming/But there’s a voice inside my head saying you’ll never reach it/Every step I’m taking/Every move I make feels lost with no direction/My faith is shaking.

And here’s Miley’s BFF voice: Got to keep my head held high….The struggles I’m facing/The chances I’m taking/Sometimes they might knock me down but no I’m not breaking….Just got to keep going,/And I, I got to be strong/Just keep pushing on.

Miley is also singing about the importance of screwing up. “Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose,” she says. It’s all about “the climb.”

Lesson Plan

If you’re an educator, here’s an informal, short lesson plan. Play the song to your kids (I’m envisioning grades 5-8). To download the song at iTunes, click here. For lyrics, click here. Ask them to summarize it in their own words. Then have a discussion with these questions:

1.    Why is Miley singing this song? What is she trying to tell herself?

2.    Miley talks about hearing a negative voice inside her head. Why do people talk to themselves in negative ways? What are some examples of negative thoughts you have heard people share, or that you have had?

3.    Does thinking negative thoughts about yourself affect how you act? What might be an example?

Place “Agree” and “Disagree” cards (or just designate corners of your classroom as “Agree” and “Disagree” areas).

• Ask students: Imagine you’re playing a really important game at the sport you love most (or competing at something, if you don’t play sports). You’re not doing as well as you would like to. On one side of the field (or performance area), you have a coach shouting at you, telling you you’re doing terribly. She wants to win so badly, but she’s frustrated and angry. On the other side of the field, you have a coach shouting, but he’s encouraging you and clapping. If you would prefer the frustrated coach, go to the “Agree” side of the room. If you would prefer the encouraging coach, go to the “Disagree” side. Discuss in your small group why you chose this side of the room and explain your position to the class. Standing in the middle is okay for all answers.

• Read students the following lyric: “Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose.” Then ask students if they agree or disagree that it is important to lose sometimes. Students may stand in the middle of the room if they wish. Ask each group to come up with an explanation.

• Read another lyric: “Ain’t about how fast I get there/Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side/It’s the climb.” Ask a student to summarize this lyric in his own words, then have students move to an area of the room based on whether or not they agree with this statement. Ask each group to explain their position.

Lastly, teach kids the BFF voice, and brainstorm some examples of how it might work.

More Discussion Points from rosalindwiseman.com

Miley has been in the news a lot this year, from her recent deleting of her Twitter account, to her controversial performance at the Teen Choice Awards. Like Ciara, she’s a great example of an artist who is making both positive and negative contributions to the larger culture, which can be really confusing. (Is she worth discussing, or should we all just relax?) And while her star status may not make her your average teenager, most kids can probably relate to some of the stuff she’s dealing with. You could ask them:

• Miley Cyrus recently deleted her Twitter account because she said that she was focusing too much on the chatter and not enough on living in the moment. Do you ever feel like technology is overwhelming your life? What do you give up by deciding to opt-out of social networking, texting, etc.? What do you gain by opting out?

• Compare Miley’s song, “The Climb”, with her other recent hit, “Party in the USA”. (Video embedded below.) Which image of Miley is the most well-known? What does this tell us about reputations? Have you ever felt that people could only see you in one way, and it was something you didn’t like?
  

• Some people argue that the lyrics and outfits in “Party in the USA” are too mature for a 16-year-old to perform. Do you agree or disagree? How important do you think it is for celebrities to be “good role models” for their young fans? What do you think young people learn from artists their age or slightly older that act or dress or sing in a way that some might consider “too mature”?

• How do you think young artists–especially those who were well-known as kids or tweens–continue to grow professionally without performing music or dressing in a way people think is too sexy ? Can you think of a musician or actor that you think has done this successfully?
  

• Do you think the media treats young female and male entertainers equally when it comes to how they act/dress/grow up in public? Are they judged by the same standards? Are these standards fair and why or why not?

This post originally appeared on rachelsimmons.com

Okay, I promised NOT to do a Halloween Horrors bit on girls’ costumes and tramp vamp cues (been there, done that) BUT the irony in the timing of this post from Australia titled, “Musical Tarts are Infecting Our Children” that referenced us here at Shaping Youth about the influence of the lyrics and antics of Ms. Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta (aka Lady Gaga) was too ripe not to riff upon.

Why? Well, ironically, my 12-year old sweet tween advisor in L.A. just sent me the Teen Vogue reader-voted picks for ‘top costumes 2009,’ (which we all know is read by preteens in aspirational/age compression dialed down demographic mode) to share that Lady Gaga won the tween/teen girls’ top vote for celeb DIY trick or treating costume… (Isn’t that just ducky?)

Not sure if she was sending me this as a ‘heads up’ or as social commentary, but she plopped the link in my inbox noting Teen Vogue’s prose: “With her signature sunglasses, blunt blonde bangs, and flair for stealing the spotlight, channeling this pop sensation is as easy as throwing on your favorite sunnies and striking a pose.”

Now, I’d like to think girls voted this top celeb pick because LadyGaga is so outrageously easy to spoof as a last minute, easy costume idea (just like one of the middle school girls last year showed up as Amy Winehouse in a disheveled satirical slam) but I can’t help pondering the Aussie’s commentary on the raunchy lyrics and try to restrain my inner Tipper Gore with every ounce of forward thinking femme screaming, “What are we doing to kids with this messaging?” Time will tell…

Patrick Kennedy seems like a ‘poppa don’t preach’ kind of guy, as he has a level-headed way of using comparison/contrast between provocative lyrics of Lady Gaga and Lily Allen to note the pithy and purposeful ‘digs’ that Ms. Allen uses to make a statement about the coarseness of our culture vs. the overt self-objectification of Lady Gaga’s schtick…

You can read more here, in his blog, “Pat’s Point of View” out of Sydney, Australia…but as a parent, he summed the essence of why emulation like this lands flat with most of us in the ‘over 30′ crowd not wild about wee lil’ Sesame Streetwalkers ringing our doorbells or middle school Playboy bunnies with fishnet tights strutting their budding Halloween stuff…

“As a father of one daughter, and potentially another on the way, I’m concerned about the sexualization of our youth. Music, movies, TV and celebrities are influencing our youth much more than ever before, with sexually explicit (or at least suggestive) messages…Take for example the work of recent pop music sensation Lady Gaga. Here’s a line from her top 40 hit “LoveGame”:

“I’m educated in sex, yes—and now I want it bad, want it bad —(The chorus of that same song goes) Don’t think too much, just bust that stick—I wanna take a ride on your disco stick…”

Mind you, trashy lyrics are pretty much ‘the norm’ on the airwaves these days, and LadyGaga’s ‘Poker Face’ causes me to raise my eyebrows every time I hear, “And baby when it’s love, if it’s not rough it isn’t fun”…

…Especially during this October domestic violence awareness month.

But I try (really, REALLY try) to temper this by the reality of being surrounded by teens daily who roll their eyes saying, “C’mon, we don’t even HEAR the lyrics, we just like the beat.”

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Okay then. Very well.

Like Mr. Kennedy, I’m trying my hardest not to ‘overthink’ lyrics from “I Like It Rough”, “Shake Ur Kitty” and “Beautiful, Dirty, Rich” among the plethora of other ‘outrageously over the top’ poptarts out there in the cultural zeitgeist…

But it just keeps reinforcing to me that raising kids with a healthy sexuality sans hawking their hoochie-mama ‘assets’ as their perceived self-identity is getting harder by the day. End of rant. “I’m no prude, but…” is quickly becoming a bit of a parlor game with me, counting  the number of times all ages and stages voice this preamble while speaking of their frustration…

Whether it’s kids tearing down “the populars” for “their slutwear” or concerned adults bordering on mouth frothing outrage, there always seems to be that ‘disclaimer’ surfacing to clarify and contextualize.

It’s almost as if people are afraid to shout from the top of their lungs, “Hey, people, this is NOT ok!!” for fear of ridicule and reverb.

Are we really becoming such sheeple as a global voice?

Is it so wrong to say, “I AM uncomfortable with this crud” regardless of what our hipster social mores and vapid values are airing as acceptable pablum for the masses?

No, I’m not bluffin’ with my muffin’ …I’m completely Poker Face about this.

It’s not a question of right or wrong, or ‘turn off the radio, ‘ or ‘turn down the media volume’ or any other judgmental simple one-stepper on the solution front…

It’s the fact that we’re becoming a world of spineless jellyfish letting pop culture dictate ever devolving modicums of ‘acceptability’…with zero regard for how it’s impacting kids.

What used to be a public trust of social responsibility has been traded for an ‘anything goes’ profiteering mindset over public health and the commodification of childhood…Make no mistake, it’s multi-faceted layering embedding deep into kids’ psyches.

Kind of like ‘ambient mind pollution’…seeping into their subconscious to set up behavioral norms of what we as ‘adults’ value and/or pay attention to as a societal whole. Er…not too healthy for emerging sexuality…(kind of like those lame abstinence only programs that limit sex ed in schools only to remind us that every 26 seconds a teen pregnancy occurs, as groups like Advocates for Youth can attest to time and time again)

It’ll be veeeeeeery interesting to see how this all plays out over time…

Maybe there will be a ‘backlash brewing’? Maybe ‘modest is hottest’ and ‘girls gone mild’ will be the next ‘thang’…(though we can do without the overly controlling Twilight relational obsessions n’est ce pas?)

Who knows? We’re due for a ‘market correction’ as the constant drumbeat of sexualization is getting quite ‘ho-hum’ and just plain toxic as well as tiring to most ages and stages…We’re almost numb in an eerily desensitized way, as I wrote here in this Miley Teen’s Choice Awards post.

As a reminder, these behavioral cues at ever younger ages have proven time and again by the APA to be  landing on kids’ physical and mental well-being with a great big thud.

So in sum…Yes, costumes are meant to be fantasy fun, and humor and wit is subjective.  Halloween is one of my favorite times to see it spill out through innovation, creation and costume silliness…But there’s a big difference when it comes to adult satire vs. children’s simulation of life as we know it today…so why not remind kids that Halloween is a day of imagination–a perfect opportunity to show them that they can be anyone, any profession, any role. I’ll hush now, but not before I ask the trolls to please behave in the comment section this round…

I’m quite used to being repeatedly doused with unprintably foul language about my ‘lack of humor’ and how I need to ‘get laid’ or ‘get a life’ etc., which frankly just speaks to the coarseness conundrum quite well and reinforces my stance with sad validation.

As one who has been a veteran attendee of the multi-band rock-n-roll costume extravaganza of  ‘anything goes’ in S.F. at the provocative Exotic Erotic Ball ‘back in the day’ I can honestly say…

“I’m no prude, but…”

Thoughts?

Want Some Healthier Halloween DIY Ideas?

DIY Idea: Where the Wild Things Are

Homemade Halloween for BABIES (Inhabitot)

Frugal Cafe: DIY Threadbanger Tips & MJ Costume

19 Frightfully Fun Homemade Halloween Ideas/Daily Green

Green Halloween.org

How Stuff Works.com Finds More Consumers Seeking DIY

Safe & Green Halloween Costumes for Kids

Teen Vogue Voter Picks by Kids (as mentioned)

More Halloween Posts On Shaping Youth

What About BOYS Halloween Costumes?

Halloween MakeUp Tips For Kids Costumes on the Fly

Halloween, Trend Tracking & a MoshPit of Parenting Styles

Practical Tips to Combat Halloween Horrors of “Wicked Innocence”

Reverse Trick or Treating: Isn’t That..Um..Marketing?

The Life Cycle of Media Madness & Parental Panic: When Annual Candy Scares Go Viral

Related Articles Elsewhere

Salacious Halloween Costumes Cause Stir

Sexy Halloween Styles For Girls Frighten Adults

Halloween: At What Age Does the Schoolgirl Become Sexy?

Up For Debate: Sexy Halloween Costumes

“Hot” for Halloween: From Girlish and Ghoulish To Racy to Revealing

Visual Snapshot from: Feminist Law Professors

Spooky to Skanky: For Halloween Costumes, Less Is More

The News Observer: They’re Tramps For A Night, But Why?

Alpha Mom: Buzz Off, What Not to Wear This Halloween

Kindergarten Cleavage (from last year but still au courant)

Prostitute Costumes for Tots (Toronto Star, ‘04)

This post originally appeared on ShapingYouth.org.

Not that you won’t enjoy every minute. Whip It is the Real Girl movie of the year. Its motto: Be your own hero.

The plot: Bliss Cavendar (Page) is a 17 year old reluctant beauty pageant contestant, nudged along by her Good Girl mother (played by the terrific Marcia Gay Harden). Mom is a former beauty queen herself who sneaks smokes to project a Perfect Mom image to her daughter (and undergoes her own transformation in the film). When Bliss watches an all-female roller derby, she’s enthralled. She sneaks off to tryouts and busts into the world of Austin derby.

Bliss’ team, the Hurl Scouts, is Real Girl heaven: women who tell it like it is, don’t care what people think and take up space – literally, by jumping on top of each other. When Bliss apologizes before she speaks in true Good Girl fashion, the team has none of it. “Find that thing that pisses you off,” a teammate advises the timid Bliss, “and use it.” Okay, passion doesn’t have to be driven by anger, but it’s a crystal clear moment of a girl learning how to access power and drive.

I like how parent-positive this movie is. Bliss goes too far with her Mom and gets schooled by one of the Hurl Scouts for being selfish. And it’s Dad who skates away with the film, with his tearjerker line, “I can’t take our daughter missing a chance to be happy.”

Some parents might feel uncomfortable about the sheer brass of these women (with nicknames, for example, like “Jabba the Slut”). Personally, I wish Bliss didn’t have to throw her Good Girl self under the bus in favor of more aggressive behavior. She goes too far when she knocks a popular girl over a railing at school to show off her newfound confidence.

That said, there’s an infectious and heart lifting freedom in the way these women blow through a party, locker room or rink. You will cheer for Bliss when she is literally sprung from the prison of her beauty pageant life by this rollicking pack of women. I dare you to go see this movie and not wonder where you left your last pair of skates.

Bliss displays inspiring confidence with boys, modeling the kind of self-esteem you want your daughter to see on the big screen. An NPR reporter recently pointed out that the last scene between Bliss and her love interest “is so smart and so significant and so legitimately revolutionary given the sensibilities of 99 percent of the movies that depict teenage girls that that scene alone would make it a great gift for your daughter when she turns 13.”

There’s an email pinging around that wonders if “Whip It would have been better off if it was told in reverse: the story of a Roller Derby Girl who made herself over as a Beauty Queen, won the pageant and got the boyfriend in the end.” Great question, but let’s use the time we might have spent wondering and get our butts to the box office. Do it for the girl in your life. If we don’t vote with our wallets, we may lose for years to come.

This post originally appeared on rachelsimmons.com.