Rosalind Wiseman answers a question from Donte, who’s worried because his girlfriend has been avoiding him lately.  She is shy and suffers from anxiety, so he’s not sure if her coldness towards him is because she’s being bashful or if she’s worried about something else.  Is anxiety the reason behind his girlfriend being so distant?

Got a question for Rosalind? Email it to rosalindsinbox@rosalindwiseman.com!

One of the original shots in color and a "resized" one in black and white.

A significant amount of controversy has recently surrounded model and author of Hungry, Crystal Renn. An eating disorder survivor and advocate for weight diversity in the modeling industry, Renn was shocked and disappointed to learn that her size 10 frame had been resized saying, “I don’t think it’s an accurate portrayal of my body in any way. I’m a size 10, and that is more like a size 2.”

Immediately after the photos were released she reached out to the public to shed light on reality.  On Thursday morning, she appeared on the Today Show to talk about the photoshopped images that made her appear drastically thinner.  Toward the end of the interview Renn said something that literally made me jump off of my couch and shout, “Thank you!”

To quote, she said, “Plus-size.  Some people scoff at the name, but I think it’s amazing to be a part of the entire thing. What I think would end the confusion is if we call all the other models ‘just models.’” I couldn’t agree more. I encourage you to watch and share the clip with a girl you love, as it is inspiring, enlightening, and wholeheartedly genuine.

If you liked this, you might also like:

Healthy Media for Youth Act: A Step in the Right Direction

Rosalind’s Inbox: My Parents Constantly Call Me Fat!

Why We’ve turned on Heidi Montag

Actress Nia Vardalos asks “What’s the Big, Fat Deal?”

If you read (and loved) Boys, Girls & Other Hazardous Materials, and you’d like to share your opinions on  friends, embarrassing moments, relationships, or just what its like to be in high school, join my group and let’s get writing!

If you like this, you might also like:

Rosalind Talks about her new novel: Boys, Girls & Other Hazardous Materials

Girl World Tour is Hitting 8 New Cities this Fall!

HazMat Readers Google Group

Boys, Girls & Other Hazardous Materials

Spring 2010 kicked-off Rosalind Wiseman’s Girl World Tour. Moms & daughters were invited to join Rosalind for a fun-filled evening of mother-daughter bonding. In addition to celebrating Rosalind’s latest books, the tour featured an interactive discussion about confidence, friendships, sweat-inducing moments and common mother-daughter challenges. The two-hour event had all the mothers and daughters in attendance talking, laughing and connecting.

In case you missed it: The Girl World Tour will be resuming this fall! Please visit the Girl World Tour homepage for the most up-to-date information.

Rosalind Wiseman answers a question from Jamie, a teenage girl who has been cutting herself.  She’s recently been able to stop, but fears that the difficulties in her life will make her start self-mutilating again.  What can Jamie do to find a new way to deal with her pain?

After reading the latest on Mel Gibson’s bigoted tirades on every group besides the one he belongs to, I came across a great short tutorial on YouTube entitled, “How to Tell People They Sound Racist”. Its message gets right to the point:

1) Call people out when they denigrate someone else based on any type of “ism”.

2) Be strategic about how you do it.

Being strategic means focusing on the specific actions they did that were hurtful, not who they are as a person. It’s the difference between saying, “Hey that thing you said was racist,” and, “You are a racist.” Not only because it’s the right thing to do, but because if you attack someone’s whole person it makes it much easier for them to dismiss the merits of your argument. It allows the person to take no responsibility for their actions and makes it almost impossible for them to be more thoughtful about the things they do in the future. And not to get all idealistic, but if more of us could do what the guy in the video is suggesting, we’d all be a lot better off.

Check it out below.

If you liked this, you might also like…

Rosalind’s Inbox: My Boyfriend’s Hispanic and My Dad’s Kinda Racist

Speaking Out On Segregated Proms

Rosalind’s Pick: Facing History

Rosalind’s Inbox: My Son Used the ‘N’ Word!

Luckily, the government has finally taken an interest in the devastating effects the media is having on teens’ body images.  The Healthy Media for Youth Act was introduced by two congresswomen, Representatives Tammy Baldwin (a democrat) and Shelley Moore Capito (a republican).  This bill will work to promote healthy images of women in the media through a grant program that will support youth empowerment groups, media literacy programs, and further research into the effects of the media on women and girls.

As an educator and a mom, I strongly support this bill.  But it hasn’t been passed…yet.  I ask each and every one of you to reach out to your local congress representatives and ask for their support in passing this amazing bill.  As it is Healthy Media for Youth Week, now is a perfect time to be proactive.  If you are unsure where to start, I’m including a sample letter below.

Dear Congress (wo)man X:

I urge you to be a Voice for Girls in Washington by cosponsoring H.R. 4925, the Healthy Media for Youth Act, which was introduced on March 24th by Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin and Congresswoman Shelley Moore Capito.

Media and technology are dramatically changing the way children communicate, receive information, and learn.  While there are many positive benefits of increased media exposure, there are many challenges associated with new media, especially with regard to the portrayal of women and girls.  For example, the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in the Media found that in the top box office G-rated movies from 1990-2005, three out of four characters were male.  It also found that the majority of female characters in children’s movies are praised for their appearance or physical beauty rather than their personality, intelligence, or other talents, and narrowly fixated on romantic relationships that lack substantial connections or courtships.

While this issue affects all children, it disproportionately affects girls.  A recent study by the Girl Scout Research Institute states that sixty percent of teenage girls compare their bodies to fashion models and almost 90 percent of girls say the fashion industry places a lot of pressure on teenage girls to be thin.  According to the American Psychological Association, three of the most common mental health problems among girls — eating disorders, depression or depressed mood, and low self-esteem — are linked to sexualization of girls and women in media.

With children exposed to more than 10 hours of recreational media each day, we must ensure that they are empowered to make sense of the media images they are seeing.  The Healthy Media for Youth Act supports media literacy programming that provides youth with critical and analytical thinking skills, and leadership development to help them combat the negative images they see.  The bill also supports research on the impact of media images, and creates a taskforce to adopt voluntary guidelines to promote healthier media images of women and girls.  This legislation will empower children and encourage better balance in the media images they see

I encourage Congressman/woman_________________ to be a Voice for Girls.  Please cosponsor the Healthy Media for Youth Act today by contacting Amber Shipley in Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin’s office at amber.shipley@mail.hosue.gov or (202) 225-2906 or Virginia Gum in Congresswoman Shelley Moore Capito’s office at Virginia.gum@mail.house.gov or (202) 225-2711.

Our kids need our help to battle the distorted messages of sex, beauty, and body image they are faced with everyday.  Fighting to pass the Healthy Media for Youth Act is just one small step we can all collectively take in the right direction.

Other resources:

Rosalind’s Pick: Dove Campaign for Real Beauty

The Body Image Police

Girl Scouts Advocacy Network

National Eating Disorders Association

Rosalind Wiseman answers a question from Maggie, a woman who recently found out that her 14-year-old son is watching sexy videos online as well as visiting video roulette websites. She wants to confront her son about his behavior, but she is worried the conversation could ruin their relationship. How can she tell her son that the internet is not a safe place to learn about sex without him pushing her away?

If you liked this, you might also like…

“Talk to Strangers”: Is the New Chat Craze Dangerous for Girls?

Sext-Ed

I replied with, “Would you be as offended if they were straight?”

I didn’t get a straight answer, just a snarky comment.  Another couple got up to leave and went to the manager. I am assuming they complained because in a matter of seconds another employee walked out to “clean” tables.  He went back, exchanged words with other employees, laughter erupted, but nothing happened.

I am not comfortable with excessive amounts of PDA, period, but this left me wondering if the same remarks, stares, and whispers would have happened if it were a male/female couple?  Sadly, I think not.  Unfortunately, these situations are what gay teenagers face everyday and it breaks my heart. I invite you to ponder the following questions:

How would you have reacted in this situation?

What if the couple were adults?

If you were with a child, would you have a discussion about it? What about a teenager?

Would you have left?

Would you be inclined to talk to management or to other people in the establishment?

And lastly, would it have mattered if it were a male/female couple?  Why or why not?

If you’d like some activism resources, my two favorites are Think Before You Speak and GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network.)  And please check out this video made by one of my all-star students, Ashley Cole.  It’s pretty amazing.

PS – it’s never OK make derogatory racist, classist, sexist, ageist, or homophobic comments to anyone, let alone a perfect stranger.

If you liked this, you might also like…

Rosalind’s Inbox: Is 13 too young to come out?

Rosalind’s Inbox: My Crush wont break up with His Boyfriend!

Family Circle, Ask Rosalind, February 2010

Perez Hilton: You Don’t Get a Pass Just Because You’re Gay

Pigtail Pals is a fantastic t-shirt company that is owned and operated by Melissa Wardy, a mom who wanted clothing for her daughter that wasn’t riddled with the typical “little girl” stereotypes.  She wanted her daughter to know that becoming a princess, model, or ballerina weren’t her only options.

She created a line of girls’ t-shirts that are smart and funny, and that challenge female stereotypes.  With shirts that read “I look good in red” and depict a female firefighter, or a drawing of a carpenter with a braid hanging over each of her shoulders proclaiming “I broke a nail“, Pigtail Pals uses witty slogans coupled with adorable illustrations to  “redefine girly“.

Pigtail Pals also has a great blog all about parenting, the media, and girl empowerment. Check it out.

If you liked this, you might also like…

Miss Boob Job and Other Teen t-shirt Catastrophes