Rosalind Wiseman is an internationally recognized author and educator on children, teens, parenting, education and social justice. Her work aims to help parents, educators and young people successfully navigate the social challenges of young adulthood.
Rosalind Wiseman
creating cultures of dignity
I’m 14 and I Want A Lip Ring!
Rosalind Wiseman answers a question from Taylor, a 14-year-old girl who wants to pierce her lip. She thinks she’s mature enough to make this decision, but her parents disagree and want her to wait until she’s older. Is Taylor responsible enough to make this choice or should she respect her parents wishes?
2 Responses to “I’m 14 and I Want A Lip Ring!”
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September 2nd, 2010 at 6:59 pm
I’m a young mom with a budding 13 year old. I have tattoos and piercings and I work in a professional environment. I have a labret (slightly lower then the bottom lip). All of my tattoos are covered when wearing business appropriate attire and when at work, I wear a clear post in my face to minimize the shock to my colleges. Every piece of my self expression has come with months of thought – nothing has been on a whim. As such, I have explained to my daughter that although I am all for tattoos and piercings, if she ever comes home with one without my permission – I will rip it out or scrub it off! This is not because I’m trying to control her body…it’s because I’m trying to engage her mind. A few months ago she asked if she could pierce her cartilage (high spot of the ear). I discussed with her the risks associated with piercing cartilage as a few of my friends who had done it had displacement occur. She decided not to do it, but has since pondered the idea of a nose ring…!
August 30th, 2010 at 8:48 am
I am sure my answer will not be popular with Taylor, but I agree with her parents. No lip ring. The face is the first thing people see when they meet someone and a lip ring sends a message that is not always recieved well. Taylor has yet to be out in the world of employment, her world right now revolves around high school groups who are not always true friends. The group Taylor thinks will accepts her for piecing her lip might hate by the end of the month for unknown reasons. Teens and cliques makes little sense. No, I am sorry Taylor no lip ring, and if she was my daughter and did it behind my back there would be great consequences. Such as losing a cell phone for a few months!
I have a 16 year old daughter and I try to respect her choices when I can… and when I can’t I expect her to follow the household rules. Allow Taylor to piece her ears higher up, use magnetic earrings in her nose.. Find a compromise… Without piecing her face.
Vlynch