Rosalind Wiseman is an internationally recognized author and educator on children, teens, parenting, education and social justice. Her work aims to help parents, educators and young people successfully navigate the social challenges of young adulthood.
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Mass. DA Says ‘Enough’ to Phoebe Prince’s Tormentors
Phoebe Prince committed suicide after relentless bullying and harassment by her classmates.
Today, Northwestern District Attorney Elizabeth D. Scheibel is my hero. In a Northern Massachusetts community where a group of students felt they had the right to harass, stalk, and humiliate Phoebe Prince—a 15 year-old-girl in their school—until she killed herself, and then ridicule Phoebe’s Facebook memorial page after her death, someone with power must say, “enough.” Yesterday, Scheibel did.
Thank goodness.
Scheibel brought charges against nine young people in connection to Phoebe’s death.
Equally important in this situation is Scheibel’s straightforward description of the school personnel’s ineffective response. Without getting into a debate of the school’s responsibility to make its students safe, she lets their inaction speak for itself.
Scheibel lays it right out there:
“The actions of these students were primarily conducted on school grounds during school hours and while school was in session,” and “Phoebe’s harassment was common knowledge to most of the South Hadley High School student body [and to] certain faculty, staff and administrators….” And finally, “At least four students and two faculty members had intervened during the harassment, but the school’s code of conduct was inconsistently enforced,” CNN reported.
And we wonder why so many young people don’t think coming to adults makes a difference? As I say to my students, there are some clueless, useless adults out there. Some will do nothing when they see kids being cruel. They will turn away, they will dismiss it, they’ll pretend it didn’t happen. They may even blow you off because, “If they didn’t see it themselves, they can’t really be sure it happened.”
But not every adult is like that. Some want to protect you and do what adults should do—use their authority to respectfully yet forcefully stop the bullying. Today, Elizabeth Scheibel did and I thank her for it. I thank her for holding the bullies accountable and showing teens that there are some adults who will use their power to stop the cruelty and abuse from continuing.
10 Responses to “Mass. DA Says ‘Enough’ to Phoebe Prince’s Tormentors”
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April 5th, 2010 at 7:46 pm
The 9 indicted are not “kids” they are young adults. If the charges are true, and they appear to be, these 9 young adults behaved violently and with malice. They need to be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
If guilty, their parents are to blame as well.
And the school superintendant, principal and vice-principal need to step down. Any teachers or other staff who witnessed the abuse and did nothing need to be terminated immediately.
Currently, the school committee elections are looming and there are no challengers to the two incumbents, one of whom has defiantly defended the school.
Is there no adult citizen in South Hadley who has the courage to stand up to these officials and run against what appears to be an unrepentant group of officials who don’t know when to say “sorry, we screwed up?”
What is wrong with this town?
A young girl died by her own hand apparently because of the abuse she suffered on school grounds.
Doesn’t that mean anything to South Hadley? Isn’t it time for a change?
I
April 2nd, 2010 at 2:48 pm
“If these children who bullied her have any ounce of humanity within themselves, they will have a hard enough time trying to overcome the thought that they were the part of the reason that a young 15 year old girl ended her life, to end their torment.”
Ed, what part of this situation do you not understand? These creatures do NOT have any humanity within themselves. They have no remorse. They not only carried out the relentless bullying of this girl to her death, but gloated about it afterward, and even continued by harrassing the family of the girl through their postings. This is sociopathic behavior.
Apparently some of them had been called on it previously. When nothing happened to them, they continued. Kids learn fast. These kids learned that no one cared. No one bothered enough to educate them as to what was and was not acceptable behavior.
The teens need to face criminal charges for their actions. They need to learn that actions have consequences, and they are responsible for the consequences of their actions. In this case – murder.
The parents need to face criminal charges for their actions. They were, in at least several instances, aware of the actions of their children, and did nothing. They taught their children that their actions were acceptable, even perhaps laudable. They created these monsters.
The school authorities need to face criminal charges for their failure to act, to teach. They clearly were aware of what was happening, yet turned away. Their job is to educate, and to protect, the children entrusted to them. This girl was attacked in front of them, and they did nothing. They furthered the actions of the monsters that destroyed her, and offered her no protection.
When I was younger, I used to wonder how anyone could choose suicide as an answer. If the final solution to whatever your problem is is to end your life, then why not try some interim solutions first, drastic as they might be – leave, drop out, move with relatives, run away, do whatever it takes to stay alive and get away from what is so bad you feel you have to end your life. I later learned that the problem is not outside, it’s inside, it’s within you. No matter where you go, you carry it with you. All of these people made this girl feel so useless and worthless that she despaired. The authorities who clearly saw it happening did nothing to stop it. She knew they knew because it was happening in front of them. So she drew her own conclusions – probably that they also felt she was useless and worthless, not even worth the trouble of raising a voice to scold those attacking her. She internalized this. And she took her own life, because everyone and everything around her was telling her that her life was worth nothing.
Shame on all of them, and on any of us who let things like this go on. We are the adults. It is us who must teach our children how they are to behave. Each and every one of us, whether the child is of our household or of another. Because they will grow up to take their places next to us in the world. And do you want to share your world with monsters like these?
April 1st, 2010 at 5:15 pm
Ed:
Um – are you aware that in some cultures, suicide is not only accepted but EXPECTED?!?!? In some Asian cultures, it is the only way to bring back honor to your family.
Spout all you want about how selfish suicide is – and how every person who commits suicide simply hasn’t thought about the impact it would have on their loved ones. But it isn’t as simple as that. Especially to a 15 year old girl without a friend in the world, in a strange land where no one understands, and everyone hates her for no good reason.
As for not charging the bullies, you are dead wrong. They tortured another human being with no regard, and then had the callous indecency to continue to harass her and her family post-humus. If that doesn’t call for a law suit, I don’t know what does. I don’t care who the heck they learned it from, they need to UN LEARN IT! And be accountable for their own actions!!!! If they aren’t punished for it now, when will it stop?? We should continue to contribute to this bullying and even enable it because heck, after all, it was us who taught it to them??? Please.
I don’t care who “started it”!!!! Let’s FINISH IT!!!! NOW!!!!!!! Let’s make an example out of these heartless bullies and the school admins for neglect and punish them all to the fullest extent of the law!!! Then, and only then, will other schools accept the challenge and put an end to this ridiculous and INEXCUSABLE BEHAVIOR!!!!!!!!
In no world is it okay to make excuses for them, not punish them, and then call the victim selfish.
I hope to God you don’t have children of your own.
April 1st, 2010 at 1:32 pm
@ Ed -
I have to respectfully disagree with your opinion that these bullies should not be punished.
While bullies may be insecure and cowards at heart they are arrogant, cruel and sadistic. Bullies enjoy their cruelty and are empowered by it. They love it. They openly brag about it. It’s a sick game to them that if not stopped will just escalate to what we saw here with Phoebe Prince and others. I’m sure her tormenters all had a good laugh upon hearing the news of her suicide. It’s sick and deeply disturbing.
I too endured years of bullying (because I was from a foreign country) and know all too well the terror and depression that poor girl must have felt. I too contemplated suicide but somehow found the strength to carry on. But still, I carry the scars from it to this day. Has it “made me stronger” I don’t know.
Now people don’t always have control over how they feel but they do have control over how they act. If these actions (torturing a girl to death) have no legal or civil consequences it will only serve to empower bullies everywhere. Bullying will only get worse. Resulting in more deaths either by suicide or outright murder. Bullies are responsible for their own actions! They could have stopped at any time and made amends.
Personally, I feel that the bullies in this case should be charged with criminally negligent homicide in the least. The bullies in this case could have stopped at any time and made amends. They did not.They can go to prison and then find out what bullying is really about. It is imperative that they be held accountable if not just for themselves but for the rest of our society. And it’s a sad comment on our culture that children have to die before steps are taken to correct this problem.
Ed – I do commend you on your compassion and sensitivity and I hope that you find the healing that you need.
April 1st, 2010 at 6:30 am
Massachusetts has some very clear laws prohibiting harassment in the workplace and in public schools. I live in a neighboring town to where this incident occurred. The children and parents of our public schools know the prohibited behaviors and the consequences they carry. We print the state statutes in our student handbooks and make the students and parents sign an acknowledgement form verifying that they’ve read and understood the laws. No one living in this area is surprised by the outcome of this criminal investigation. Most are relieved that bullying is finally being punished according to our laws. We have lost two teenagers to bullying in less than one year here in Western Massachusetts. I pray that their families and friends have not read the comments here about the legalities of suicide. National surveys taken during the past decade reveal that most of us have suffered from bullying at some point in our lives. We need to do whatever is necessary to heal our wounds. And, then, we need to be sure other children do not suffer as we did. We either choose to be part of the solution, or we remain part of the problem.
April 1st, 2010 at 5:55 am
I agree with everyone’s outrage and dissent toward this sad part of our culture. Responsible parents teach their children to respect others and to “treat others the way you want to be treated”. However, as pointed out before, it is these same people and parents who do not practice what they preach. Children and young adults learn by example. So it is no wonder that the youth of this nation feel that it is either OK or socially acceptable to pick on others.
However, regardless of circumstances, no one has the right to take away life, even if it is their own. The last time I checked, attempted suicide is a crime. While the bullying and verbal and maybe even physical abuse may have been incessant, this is still no reason to call it quits on your life. My heart goes out to this girl Phoebe, and more so her family, as I too have lost both a family member AND family friend due to this type of tragedy. Suicide is THE ultimate act of selfishness. If everyone who ever considered suicide, contemplated the effects on their loved ones, we would most surely have a suicide free world.
I agree that bullying is wrong. I was personally my elementary and junior high schools’ bullying victim. I suffered both verbal and physical abuse as a result of my weight. However, the saying is true: “What does not kill you, makes you stronger”. I just wish Phoebe could have understood this saying, and made it through her rough patch.
In regards to these “bullies”, I do not believe that criminal and civil charges should be brought against them. These students were only doing what they learned from their parents, you, and I. This does not in the least make what they did right, however, it does not need to be harped on them via the legal system. If these children who bullied her have any ounce of humanity within themselves, they will have a hard enough time trying to overcome the thought that they were the part of the reason that a young 15 year old girl ended her life, to end their torment.
March 31st, 2010 at 2:56 pm
So true about adults bullying each other and this leading to the youths doing the same. Remember how many innocent people were called slurs and beaten up just because they were Muslims. Look at our media condoning behaviors of bullying with their smirking newscasters. Where are these youths shown models of adults who behave decently and respect each other for their sameness and their differences? Where?
March 31st, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Paula, your point is at the core of this very tragic circumstance, youth model behaviors of adults. And bullying amongst adults is far more rampant, and no less despicable. It is interesting to see adults react so emotionally to the bad behavior of young people and admonish them for their actions when in many cases; youth are modeling behavior presented to them in society. If we (as a nation of people), would like to see an end to bullying, racism, and other bad behaviors, adults must cease to exhibit those behaviors in their lives. The models of behavior that young people see in the media and in real life often give them directions on implementing some of the most hateful deeds and on how to best execute these behaviors as well as permission to behave badly. As a nation, we must take responsibility for the abhorrent behavior of ourselves and our youth and make serious attempts through our own behavior, to show them a better and more appropriate set of norms. Otherwise, rest assured, we will regret it in the future.
March 31st, 2010 at 12:53 pm
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March 30th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
I think your closing comments here are important. All adults need to show children and teens that bullying can’t be tolerated, and that bullying carries serious consequences. Unfortunately, too many adults bully. We live in a culture of bullying and intimidation. Adults abuse power all the time to get what they want, and kids see this and emulate it. Think of bosses who won’t give deserving employees promotions, but also won’t give them good recommendations when they need to take new jobs to find better positions. Think of store and restaurant patrons who speak disrespectfully to cahsiers and wait staff. Think of drivers who tailgate other drivers to make them drive above posted speed limits or move out of the way. Kids see adults derailing and intimidating other adults frequently. So if we want our children to act with greater dignity and respect, we have to model the appropriate behavior. Bravo to you for your curriculum. I think it’s long over due. However, we all need to realize that teaching kids respect in school will only be effective if they see adults in society acting in a more respectful manner.