“I’m Not a Prude, But…”: Why We Can’t Let Ourselves Become Culture Sheep

By Amy Jussel • October 29th, 2009

How many times have you heard that preface to a conversation about pop culture lately? Tweens? Teens?

Okay, I promised NOT to do a Halloween Horrors bit on girls’ costumes and tramp vamp cues (been there, done that) BUT the irony in the timing of this post from Australia titled, “Musical Tarts are Infecting Our Children” that referenced us here at Shaping Youth about the influence of the lyrics and antics of Ms. Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta (aka Lady Gaga) was too ripe not to riff upon.

Why? Well, ironically, my 12-year old sweet tween advisor in L.A. just sent me the Teen Vogue reader-voted picks for ‘top costumes 2009,’ (which we all know is read by preteens in aspirational/age compression dialed down demographic mode) to share that Lady Gaga won the tween/teen girls’ top vote for celeb DIY trick or treating costume… (Isn’t that just ducky?)

Not sure if she was sending me this as a ‘heads up’ or as social commentary, but she plopped the link in my inbox noting Teen Vogue’s prose: “With her signature sunglasses, blunt blonde bangs, and flair for stealing the spotlight, channeling this pop sensation is as easy as throwing on your favorite sunnies and striking a pose.”

Now, I’d like to think girls voted this top celeb pick because LadyGaga is so outrageously easy to spoof as a last minute, easy costume idea (just like one of the middle school girls last year showed up as Amy Winehouse in a disheveled satirical slam) but I can’t help pondering the Aussie’s commentary on the raunchy lyrics and try to restrain my inner Tipper Gore with every ounce of forward thinking femme screaming, “What are we doing to kids with this messaging?” Time will tell…

Patrick Kennedy seems like a ‘poppa don’t preach’ kind of guy, as he has a level-headed way of using comparison/contrast between provocative lyrics of Lady Gaga and Lily Allen to note the pithy and purposeful ‘digs’ that Ms. Allen uses to make a statement about the coarseness of our culture vs. the overt self-objectification of Lady Gaga’s schtick…

You can read more here, in his blog, “Pat’s Point of View” out of Sydney, Australia…but as a parent, he summed the essence of why emulation like this lands flat with most of us in the ‘over 30′ crowd not wild about wee lil’ Sesame Streetwalkers ringing our doorbells or middle school Playboy bunnies with fishnet tights strutting their budding Halloween stuff…

“As a father of one daughter, and potentially another on the way, I’m concerned about the sexualization of our youth. Music, movies, TV and celebrities are influencing our youth much more than ever before, with sexually explicit (or at least suggestive) messages…Take for example the work of recent pop music sensation Lady Gaga. Here’s a line from her top 40 hit “LoveGame”:

“I’m educated in sex, yes—and now I want it bad, want it bad —(The chorus of that same song goes) Don’t think too much, just bust that stick—I wanna take a ride on your disco stick…”

ovw Mind you, trashy lyrics are pretty much ‘the norm’ on the airwaves these days, and LadyGaga’s ‘Poker Face’ causes me to raise my eyebrows every time I hear, “And baby when it’s love, if it’s not rough it isn’t fun”…

…Especially during this October domestic violence awareness month.

But I try (really, REALLY try) to temper this by the reality of being surrounded by teens daily who roll their eyes saying, “C’mon, we don’t even HEAR the lyrics, we just like the beat.”

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Okay then. Very well.

Like Mr. Kennedy, I’m trying my hardest not to ‘overthink’ lyrics from “I Like It Rough”, “Shake Ur Kitty” and “Beautiful, Dirty, Rich” among the plethora of other ‘outrageously over the top’ poptarts out there in the cultural zeitgeist…

But it just keeps reinforcing to me that raising kids with a healthy sexuality sans hawking their hoochie-mama ‘assets’ as their perceived self-identity is getting harder by the day. End of rant. “I’m no prude, but…” is quickly becoming a bit of a parlor game with me, counting the number of times all ages and stages voice this preamble while speaking of their frustration…

Whether it’s kids tearing down “the populars” for “their slutwear” or concerned adults bordering on mouth frothing outrage, there always seems to be that ‘disclaimer’ surfacing to clarify and contextualize.

It’s almost as if people are afraid to shout from the top of their lungs, “Hey, people, this is NOT ok!!” for fear of ridicule and reverb.

Are we really becoming such sheeple as a global voice?

Is it so wrong to say, “I AM uncomfortable with this crud” regardless of what our hipster social mores and vapid values are airing as acceptable pablum for the masses?

ladygaga costume No, I’m not bluffin’ with my muffin’ …I’m completely Poker Face about this.

It’s not a question of right or wrong, or ‘turn off the radio, ‘ or ‘turn down the media volume’ or any other judgmental simple one-stepper on the solution front…

It’s the fact that we’re becoming a world of spineless jellyfish letting pop culture dictate ever devolving modicums of ‘acceptability’…with zero regard for how it’s impacting kids.

What used to be a public trust of social responsibility has been traded for an ‘anything goes’ profiteering mindset over public health and the commodification of childhood…Make no mistake, it’s multi-faceted layering embedding deep into kids’ psyches.

Kind of like ‘ambient mind pollution’…seeping into their subconscious to set up behavioral norms of what we as ‘adults’ value and/or pay attention to as a societal whole. Er…not too healthy for emerging sexuality…(kind of like those lame abstinence only programs that limit sex ed in schools only to remind us that every 26 seconds a teen pregnancy occurs, as groups like Advocates for Youth can attest to time and time again)

It’ll be veeeeeeery interesting to see how this all plays out over time…

Maybe there will be a ‘backlash brewing’? Maybe ‘modest is hottest’ and ‘girls gone mild’ will be the next ‘thang’…(though we can do without the overly controlling Twilight relational obsessions n’est ce pas?)

Who knows? We’re due for a ‘market correction’ as the constant drumbeat of sexualization is getting quite ‘ho-hum’ and just plain toxic as well as tiring to most ages and stages…We’re almost numb in an eerily desensitized way, as I wrote here in this Miley Teen’s Choice Awards post.

As a reminder, these behavioral cues at ever younger ages have proven time and again by the APA to be landing on kids’ physical and mental well-being with a great big thud.

So in sum…Yes, costumes are meant to be fantasy fun, and humor and wit is subjective. Halloween is one of my favorite times to see it spill out through innovation, creation and costume silliness…But there’s a big difference when it comes to adult satire vs. children’s simulation of life as we know it today…so why not remind kids that Halloween is a day of imagination–a perfect opportunity to show them that they can be anyone, any profession, any role. I’ll hush now, but not before I ask the trolls to please behave in the comment section this round…

I’m quite used to being repeatedly doused with unprintably foul language about my ‘lack of humor’ and how I need to ‘get laid’ or ‘get a life’ etc., which frankly just speaks to the coarseness conundrum quite well and reinforces my stance with sad validation.

As one who has been a veteran attendee of the multi-band rock-n-roll costume extravaganza of ‘anything goes’ in S.F. at the provocative Exotic Erotic Ball ‘back in the day’ I can honestly say…

“I’m no prude, but…”

Thoughts?

Want Some Healthier Halloween DIY Ideas?

DIY Idea: Where the Wild Things Are

Homemade Halloween for BABIES (Inhabitot)

Frugal Cafe: DIY Threadbanger Tips & MJ Costume

19 Frightfully Fun Homemade Halloween Ideas/Daily Green

Green Halloween.org

How Stuff Works.com Finds More Consumers Seeking DIY

Safe & Green Halloween Costumes for Kids

Teen Vogue Voter Picks by Kids (as mentioned)

More Halloween Posts On Shaping Youth

What About BOYS Halloween Costumes?

Halloween MakeUp Tips For Kids Costumes on the Fly

Halloween, Trend Tracking & a MoshPit of Parenting Styles

Practical Tips to Combat Halloween Horrors of “Wicked Innocence”

Reverse Trick or Treating: Isn’t That..Um..Marketing?

The Life Cycle of Media Madness & Parental Panic: When Annual Candy Scares Go Viral

This post originally appeared on ShapingYouth.org.

Tagged as: Girl World, Music, Music Videos, Pop Culture, Teens

4 Responses to ““I’m Not a Prude, But…”: Why We Can’t Let Ourselves Become Culture Sheep”

4
Amy Jussel, Shaping Youth Says:
April 13th, 2010 at 4:25 pm
I’m just getting back from ‘spring break unplugged’ so need to update a ‘part two of this post I wrote called “Deconstructing Gaga: Through the Lens of 100 Youth” http://www.shapingyouth.org/?p=10482 —fyi—You all might be interested to hear what teens themselves have to say…

I think it’s only fair that we ALL swallow a great big gulp of awareness (& media literacy) about ambient noise out there, and how performance art/satire/ entertainment is not exactly ‘translating’ to younger kids…

That said, I also DO like the post on Rachel Simmons’ blog written by a teen (Lilly) for a diff. perspective re: why Gaga could even be considered a “role model to girls”—(cough, cough, ahem; can’t say I’m in agreement based on several of Gaga’s antics/attitudes conveyed but it’s a good argument/positioning and well written, so worth reading…)

Ah, the fame monster…There are SO many layers and responsibilities inextricably entwined to how our culture is Shaping Youth. Complex, n’est ce pas?
3
Adelaide Dupont Says:
October 30th, 2009 at 3:00 am
Halloween is indeed a time of imagination.

Seems like Patrick has his head on his shoulders.
2
Amy Jussel, Shaping Youth Says:
October 30th, 2009 at 12:45 am
Actually, Natalia, I think you’re already doing it. Thinking critically. Considering and weighing. Questioning and pondering. No one is trying to tell anyone HOW to think, but rather to question the cues, messages and subtext of what’s being put out there for profit.

Nothing wrong with a great beat…sheesh, think of all those 60s counterculture lyrics and the boomers who survived ‘em, (if parents wanna yell too loud)…I’m just saying that the more we spread the word and ‘question authority’ (meaning the mass media, recording giants, music biz) to ask WHO this is really serving, and WHY we’re allowing ourselves to be narrowcast and pigeon-holed with blatant objectification, the quicker we’ll begin to see young girls champion change…Why can’t Lady GaGa produce music w/a great beat sans the misogyny and boy toy/puppetry parlance?

Action steps? Hmn…I’d invite ALL girls (and women, but girls get to VOTE for the name of the new movement!) to visit the HGHW.org site where a backlash is brewing re: the over the top/so sexy so soon/early sexualization cues damaging wee ones, tweens/teens (& frankly, devolving humanity in general) The APA has offered quantifiable proof of the harm, now it’s time responsibility and accountability come into play. Check it out…it’s gonna be fun!
1
Natalia Ballantyne Says:
October 29th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
Soooooo…what if I listen to Lady Gaga’s music, I understand that some of the lyrics are pretty messed up, but I still like it anyways? I can’t help it! It DOES have a great beat and that is not a stupid reason to like music. Don’t you just want to DANCE? I don’t support violence against women or anybody, nor do I “bluff with my muff” but I love love love the songs. Am I supposed to just stop listening in protest? I mean, what are we actually supposed to DO?!

Rosalind Wiseman

creating cultures of dignity