Rosalind Wiseman is an internationally recognized author and educator on children, teens, parenting, education and social justice. Her work aims to help parents, educators and young people successfully navigate the social challenges of young adulthood.
Rosalind Wiseman
creating cultures of dignity
The Text Message Trial
Rosalind answers a question from a mom who gave her son text message privileges but then found he was being bullied. She intervened but isn’t sure if she handled it properly.
2 Responses to “The Text Message Trial”
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July 16th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
Diane,
Your comment could be a whole blog too! I totally agree with everything you’ve said but wanted to tell you that you’re not the last parent on the planet that doesn’t always assume their kid is innocent. I have 2 sons and a daughter (17, 13, and 11) and I don’t know how anyone who has ever hung around with kids for more than 10 minutes (or ever was one for that matter) can’t fathom that their kid would lie to them sometimes–or a lot of the time, even. Yes, you definitely have to trust your children but sometimes you need to do your homework, because if they’re competent at all, they WILL test you. And the more you fail to pick up on the little white lies, chances are good they’ll keep at them.
Whew! Didn’t mean to write that much!
July 6th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Preach ON, sister! I think the parents’ response was appropriate and correct, and I think your answer to this Mom, Rosalind, was also spot-on. Too often we, as parents, question our reactions and even in this case when the parents did act appropriately and swiftly, they weren’t sure if they were over the top, or perhaps too lenient.
I think a big part of that are the two camps on the extremes of issues like these. You have those who shield their child from everything in the world and deny them the experiences they need to grow up in today’s world — a world, mind you, that has ALL NEW TOYS to when we were growing up! And then, of course, you have those who checked out long ago and have no clue what their children are getting up to. Just buy them all the new gadgets they demand and let them navigate those murky waters with absolutely NO supervision.
We DO need to let our children experience these technologies as they become available and as the children show maturity and responsibility enough to handle it. But we DO also need to set limits and show our children that, like you said Rosalind, we’re NOT the clueless adults, but also that we will still seek to protect them, even from their own bad choices.
As I was listening to your video, I was hoping you would give Dad big props for checking up on their son’s texts too. I sometimes feel that I am the last of a dying breed of parent who always wants to kow what my kid may have done to provoke a negative situation before assuming my child has been the lone victim. (And my boy’s only five!)
I am pleased all around with the adults in this video, both she who appeared and those who were mentioned. Except maybe the parent(s) of the kid who bullied in the first place!