Rosalind Wiseman

Several months ago after the whole Miss USA Pageant drama ensued, I remember telling someone how impressed I’d been with the interviews I’d seen gossip blogger Perez Hilton conduct about the incident. While he was very vocal about how upset he was about Miss California Carrie Prejean’s comments, he was a passionate and articulate advocate for gay rights in a way that brought substance to a story that was often spun superficially.

This week, however, Hilton is back in the headlines, albeit in a markedly different light. He and Black Eyed Peas group member will.i.am got into a physical and verbal scuffle outside a music awards show in Toronto. Hilton was apparently assaulted by Black Eyed Peas manager Liborio Molina, and then proceeded to lash out at will.i.am with a series of homophobic slurs both at the scene and later on his blog. Today, GLAAD issued a statement condemning Hilton’s retaliation.

“These are vulgar anti-gay slurs that feed a climate of hatred and intolerance toward our community,” said Rashad Robinson, Senior Director of Media Programs at GLAAD. “For someone in our own community to use it to attack another person by saying that it is, quote, ‘The worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear,’ is incredibly dangerous. It legitimizes use of a slur that is often linked to violence against our community. And it sends a message that it is OK to attempt to dehumanize people by exploiting anti-gay attitudes.”

“We have reached out to Hilton and asked him to apologize for promoting this anti-gay slur, and we would ask media outlets to avoid repetition of the slur in their coverage of this story.”

Although it can be hard to find fault with one of your own, I completely agree with GLAAD for speaking out against Perez Hilton’s remarks.

Here are the reasons why I think GLAAD was right.

1. Just because you’re gay doesn’t give you the right to degrade others with words that have been thrown at you. It’s just like girls calling each other sluts, whores, and bitches. If you use these words than you are giving permission for other people to use them to degrade you as well.
2. By the way, just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you can’t be homophobic—which is exactly what Hilton was doing. He was tying being gay with something he considers unworthy, less than, and something to be disrespected.

Hilton has excused his actions by saying he didn’t physically lash out.

“I am saddened GLAAD chose to victimize me further by criticizing me for how I non-violently dealt with a very scary situation that, unfortunately, turned violent. While I doubt I will get an apology from GLAAD, nor do I expect one, I would just hope people know how difficult it is to intellectualize a situation and think rationally when a thug disguised as a musician is screaming at your face and intimidating you. I am just very fortunate and grateful that nothing more serious happened to me.”

According to Hilton, and actually a lot of high school boys I work with, the only acceptable expression of anger is to physically retaliate or verbally degrade someone—and in the process usually tie that degradation to a person’s race, class, or sexual orientation.

So if Hilton truly believes, as I do, in gay people’s inherent right to to be treated with dignity, he needs to start with himself.