Rosalind Wiseman

Last night I had an interesting experience at a “Body Sculpt” class at the YMCA.  There were approximately 30 people in the class and the instructor was setting up, while the participants were quietly waiting.

Instructor: Does anybody have any particular parts they want to work on?

Class: Silence

Instructor: Last chance, anyone?

Class: More silence

Woman next to me: I want to get rid of my legs.

Me: No, you need your legs – they help you.  You need them to drive and walk and jump and run and kick and go up the stairs – it would be hard to go up the stairs without legs.

Class: A few chuckles, a few eye rolls, and a few strong glares.

Instructors: So, um, we will focus on legs (she quickly turned on the stereo, as the awkward silence and glares were still lingering)

Me: Completely aware of my words, but smiling smirking – pretending to be oblivious.

“Fat talk” has become a customary part of everyday conversation, which saddens me.   I take advantage of every opportunity for a teachable moment.  When we have high expectations –i.e., “getting rid of legs”, we are setting ourselves up for failure.

I believe the gym only has two seasons. There isn’t summer, spring, winter, or fall – it’s either bathing suit or holiday season.  And if you didn’t already know, our culture expects us to work hard in preparation for both.  I recently spoke to a woman who shared with me the reason she does not attend group exercise classes is because she is intimidated.  Her trepidation stems from the reinforcement by instructors that we are there to “look good.”  She said “If I don’t see the scale budge, I feel like I am not doing it right, it isn’t fun.”

I vividly recall the day after Thanksgiving “family fitness” class; the instructor had the class do a lot of squat kicks. Afterwards she said “you just kicked off those sweet potatoes.”  I was appalled.  Kids (and adults) should see food as fuel. The message it sent was that you can’t eat a sweet potato without working it off, which is absurd.  I actually walked out of class and went straight to the fitness director.   I walk out of any class when an instructor overemphasizes working out for weight loss.  I was an athlete growing up and exercise has always been an important part of my life.  So many begin with a weight loss/muscle building fury fitness goal and either succeed and quit, or fail and give up.

In a perfect world, everyone would exercise because it is healthy, a stress reliever, and fun!

Fat talk was rampant in my girls group earlier this year and seemed to be contagious.  Girls who I have never heard mumble a negative word were derogatory in a fashion that quite honestly surprised me.  The next group conveniently fell during the week of Valentine’s Day.  In honor of St. Valentine, they designed “Thank You” letters to their bodies.  Here are some examples:

Dear Legs: Thanks for scoring many winning goals!

Dear Mouth: Thanks for making my friends and family laugh!

Dear Hands: Thank you very much for helping me play the piano.  My grandparents love to hear the beautiful music you produce.  I couldn’t live without you!

Dear Legs: You do awesome toe touches.  I love you!

Dare I ask, what does your body do for you?

Think about it.  Self-deprecation, loathing, constant criticism, and mindless ruminating does not do an ounce of good.  You need to take care of your body–you live there!