Rosalind Wiseman

Q. My 10-year-old just told me he and his girlfriend plan to stay together until they graduate from college, then get married. How can he be so serious about this girl at his age?

A. Serious for a 10-year-old is a relative thing — the chance that this girl is your future daughter-in-law is slim to none. But that doesn’t mean you should pat your son on the head and send him on his way. Use this as an opportunity to validate his feelings while not necessarily agreeing with him, a skill that comes in handy with temperamental tweens and teens. Ask him to talk with you about why he likes this girl and to describe specific ways he and his friend are showing each other respect. Finish by reminding him of your rules for his conduct in all his relationships.

Q. My friend and I decided to cohost a sweet 16 party for our daughters. We set a budget, but my friend is now adding expenses I never agreed to. How do I get her to rein it in?

A. If I had a dollar for every time a parent came to me with a similar problem, I could retire. Okay, here’s the deal. Usually people in your situation either say nothing and end up resentfully forking over money they didn’t agree to spend or they blow up about something that looks small to the other person (like the cost of the cake, which is now approaching the price of dinner for six). Either way, after the party the parents don’t talk again.

Don’t let this happen to you! Say to your cohost, “This is uncomfortable, but I need to talk to you about how much we’re now spending. We agreed to spend ‘X’ amount. I feel you’re making decisions that could send us way over our budget. Can we please review what we’re spending so we can stay on target?” If your cohost says she’ll “pay for the difference,” be clear about what extras she’s covering. Then confirm what she says by e-mail.

Q. I trust my 14-year-old to take his own ADHD medication, but I’m pretty sure there are pills missing from the bottle, which makes me worry that he’s giving them away or selling them. What should I do?

A. Not surprisingly, teens with ADHD aren’t great at planning long term or thinking things through. So yes, your son may be giving or selling pills to other kids. Ask your son directly whether pills are missing, then confirm his story by counting them. If the math is off, take charge of his medication for the next 30 days. After that, return the bottle but have him show it to you every couple of weeks so you can check the count. Also, to keep your son on track, talk with his physician right away about replacing the missing pills. And ask the doctor, at the next visit, to explain to your son the consequences of misusing his prescription.

Rosalind Recommends

If I had a daughter, I’d get her involved in the nonprofit organization Girls on the Run. Trained community volunteers help girls get in shape and ready for a 5K race. The goal: Teach preteen girls to feel proud of their bodies for physical feats, not for how they look.